Need answer soon

Yesterday my granddaughter turned six years old. I can hardly believe it has been six years. She is truly a joy and a gift in my life. I have tried so hard to be a great grandmother to her. The past few months my asthma has made it difficult to do anything - for Sara, for my husband, for my family, for my job, for myself. I honestly am at a loss as to what to do. I don't know if the two recent hurricanes are the cause. I don't know if the insurance mess up that caused me to not get my monthly infusions for a few months has meant that the infusions need more time to work again. I am going to see my pulmonologist next week. I hope he has some answers. All I know is that I am fighting for every single second. I want to be able to do so much, but I do not have the energy. My mind plans things, but then my body cannot follow through. I just don't know how long things will be like this. I really don't want to have to stay home all the time and take a medical leave or sabbatical. I just know that I cannot continue this way. I feel guilty when I cannot get to a school to help a teacher. I feel guilty when I can't spend more time with Sara. I feel guilty that I am so tired that I just want to go home instead of doing something for my family or visiting them more. I feel guilty that my husband has to do everything. I feel that I could burst into tears all the time, but the reason I don't is because it makes my asthma worse. I have tried everything - medicines, breathing treatments, air cleaners, etc. We are waiting now for them to come install an expensive air conditioner that is supposed to get rid of allergens in the air. Who knows if it will work? I probably should live somewhere other than Louisiana, but I love my state. I could never leave my mom and granddaughter Sara. I want to be healthy. I am 47 years old and feel like I am so much older. I guess this is a pity blog. I just hope that I get some answers soon.